Yummy Hummus Time

Corny title, I know. Tonight I will attempt to make hummus.

I found the very slick infographic at the bottom of this post while looking up veggie flavor profiles on Google. My intention is to try the "classic" version and maybe jazz it up with some sriracha. I will capture everything and post pictures, of course. To keep it interesting, I will work on making some rather hearty wheat flatbread.

(update to be posted here)

(source: http://www.shape.com/healthy-eating/healthy-recipes/13-different-ways-make-hummus; found on Pinterest)

I'm BAAAAAAAA-ack

Holy Cow (goats? chickens?)

It has been SIX years since my last post on here. This simply will not do. So much has happened; so much has failed; so much has been learned.

Let's pick up where we left off, shall we?

Tragedies since 2011

• I lost my mother in 2015. She was and is and will always be an inspiration to me. I was sad, then I was angry, and now I have accepted it. I miss her and think of her often.
• My wife lost her father a short while after my mom passed away. It has been a tough road.
• Trump became president. I'll stop there. He has nothing to do with food. 

Achievements since 2011

• Became a father to another amazing child. Unexpected, unplanned, unprepared and oh so proud. She is a sweet-heart. She loves daddy's cooking so she either has good taste or low standards. I like to think it is the former :-)
• Bought our first home in 2012. There's a separate blog on that, too. I'll find it and post a link. Truthfully, that's probably why this whole "Errant Chef" thing stopped. Life happens. 
• Started college in March 2016. I am wrapping up my second semester (aka "term"). Nearly 50 credits down, 71 to go.

Discoveries since 2011

• Ditched the bread machine. I now use my behemoth Kitchen Aid (thanks bro!) and oven. 
• I now make my own butter ... oh it's soooooo good
• Been Coke Zero free since December 2016. Trying to cut down on the caffeine. 
• I want to learn to make yogurt, pasta (without a machine) and grow my own veggies. I also want to make my own hummus. Oh yeah, I discovered hummus and various Middle Eastern foods. I've been missing out!

Remember all those health and weight-loss posts? Yeah... I screwed all of that up. I had a bad period of time after my mom passed. I stopped caring about a lot of things. Lost touch, almost lost some friends but then I discovered that the few people I have close to me are amazing. 

So here we are. New beginnings. New dreams. New things to discover, screw up, re-do, re-learn, and then perfect. 

Here we go...

American Fat-Ass: Fast Food Line-up

One afternoon, I was working very hard at home: rearranging furniture, reorganizing, reshuffling and resetting. I had skipped breakfast and come lunch time, I was hungry. I was contemplating what to have and had some things from work on my mind. Somehow, I got this strange idea to try a meal from each of the fast food places we have here on Grand Island: McDonald’s, Burger King and Wendy’s. I then took the idea a step further: “Let’s objectively analyze each of these meals!” I will admit that I do have a unique perspective on what “having fun“ is all about.

With that, I set out to order similar meals from each with the intent on examining, tasting and critiquing each one.

The line-up

Wendy’s ($6.49)

Single burger w/o lettuce or tomato, pickle or onion

Small Fries

Small Diet coke

BK ($4.97)

Double cheeseburger w/o pickle or onion

Small Fries

Small Diet coke

McDonald’s ($6.19)

Quarter-pounder with cheese, w/o onion or pickle

Small fries

Small diet coke

Customer service

I visited each establishment during the noon lunch rush. I did not experience any differences between the businesses, except that Wendy’s was busier and the attendants were rushed and not as friendly as a result. Since the similarities were such, I did not consider them in the overall critique.

Drinks

The sizes were nearly identical for each, without about an ounce difference overall. McDonald’s small drink measured 16 oz while Burger King was 15oz. Wendy’s topped the group with a 16 ½ oz drink. As for taste, Wendy’s was the most carbonated, however McDonald’s diet coke had a more potent flavor. Burger King had the same carbonation level as McDonald’s and the same degree of flavor as Wendy’s.

Overall, McDonald’s offered the best small diet coke of the trio.

Fries

Each restaurant seems to have different “fry philosophies”. At first glance, McDonald’s fries are small, precise in their shape and plentiful due to their size. Burger King’s look large and intimidating, and, like McDonald’s, they appear “manufactured”. Wendy’s looked unassuming and rustic, with different shapes and skins showing at the tips and some of the sides.

McDonald’s fries weighed in at 5oz as the smallest fry in the bunch. BK and Wendy’s both measured 5 ½ ounces. Both McDonald’s and BK’s fries were crisp, but the taste of oil, while faint, was still present. Overall, both tasted generically like fries and each was identical to its comrades. Wendy’s on the other hand had a more “homely” flavor. The taste of potato was very prominent and the sea salt helped to magnify the flavor and negate any oily aftertaste. Each fry, due to the different amounts of skin present as well as different shapes, presented slight variations of flavor. McDonald’s and BK’s fries had a more “crispy” bite and I found Wendy’s to be a bit more “chewy”.

Overall, Wendy’s fries were more satisfying, both in taste and quantity.

Burgers

At first glance, McDonald’s Quarter Pounder looked fantastic and picture perfect. The defenses of the cardboard box containing it kept it safe from crushing in gouging. The sesame seeded bun was soft and not greasy. The patty itself was surprisingly thick and of the same diameter as the bun. The flavor was straight-forward: beef. There seemed to be very few flavors added to the patty, leaving opportunities to enhance its natural flavor open and unexplored. The small amount of ketchup and mustard complimented it well.

The Burger King Double-Cheeseburger possessed the same type of seeded bun as McDonald’s, however was smaller in diameter. The paper wrapping did not prevent the inevitable squeezing and twisting, so the appearance of the burger was far less appealing than the Quarter Pounder. However, given that this sandwich contains two patties instead of one, I expected more grease and was surprised to see very little. Each bite was very meaty, with the buns collapsing each time and totally putting themselves out of the equation. This was a MEAT sandwich and the buns gave no sense of presence. The favor was solid, very little had been added to the meat, however I detected a bit of beef flavor indicative of added juices.

The Single from Wendy’s was an enigma. No seeds on the bun, a bit greasy, a thin square patty with mayo and ketchup. The bun was thick and dense, hiding a small but extremely flavorful patty beneath. With each bite, I found myself having to sort through the taste of bread to finally get an opportunity to experience the meat itself. It was obvious that a blend of seasonings was added to enhance the natural taste of the meat and overall the mayo played along very well. My only regret was that there was so much bun to get through in order to encounter and appreciate the patty.

If not for the bun-to-meat ratio, Wendy’s would have been on top. If not for the “shields down” approach by BK, they may have had a chance as well. Overall, I found McDonald’s to have a superior burger among those in this group.

Overall opinion

Considering all of the experiences with these three meals, I have come to the following conclusions.

BK offers the best price-to-volume in this selection. Their food is decent enough, however handle your order with care or it may not be recognizable when you get home to eat it.

Wendy’s offers a high degree of flavor, but demands a higher price. The food in this selection was enjoyable; however the burger was disappointing in the overall configuration. If you want to savor what you eat from a fast-food establishment, I would lean in this direction.

McDonald’s has taken their vast amount of experience in their industry and constantly strives to offer a superior product. Both the drink and burger were very satisfying and I would be remiss if I did not say how surprised I was to discover this. I do, however, find their fries to be overly consistent with an air of monotony and predictability.

If I could have enjoyed a McDonald’s meal, with Wendy’s fries at BK’s prices, I think it would be as perfect a fast-food meal as there could be.

Now my next challenge is to find a way to burn all of this off.

Bon appétit!

Adjustment to diet tracking

After much reading and researching, I have decided to make a slight tweak to my intake monitoring.

Up until this point, I have been noting calories, fat (g) and protein (g) intake for each meal. Usually writing it down like this:

320 | 2 | 7

Aside from those three important metrics, I will add a fourth: dietary fiber DV%.

320 | 2 | 7 | 12%

This slight adjustment will help me keep quick track of the amount of dietary fiber I am consuming, which is important in a structured weight loss program. Presence of "fiber" in one's diet impacts the transit time of waste products through the digestive tract and improve overall tract health, if sufficient water is consumed.

Also, my local Walmart sells a high fiber cinnamon swirl oatmeal that I try to include in each morning's breakfast (40% DV).

Diet Progress

Good times. Really. I keep telling myself that.

I haven't been as on-top-of-the-situation regarding my diet as I'd like, however I continue to make progress. As of this morning I am at 286, my lowest thus far. I haven't been keeping written record of everything like I was months ago, however I am being a lot more conscious of what I'm stuffing my face with (if you want to call < 2000 calories/day "stuffing your face").

A few observations, however, have made my progress from here on a bit easier to consider:

• Less fat = easier to directly control my weight (faster response)
• More protein = easier on my system to process food (fuel for muscles to build and function)
• Never consume more than 800 calories in a single meal/snack event

Furthermore, I've discovered a delicious and fat-free snack at my local Tops grocery store. They sell these rice snacks in the bulk foods aisle. They contain soy, rice, sesame, chili peppers and seaweed. They are slightly salty and ever-so-slightly spicy. Quite delicious and zero fat.

Refried Beans

For the past few months I've been itching to try my hand at making my own refried beans. Each time I've passed the dried pintos in the store it has been a thought. Earlier this week I decided to dive in and see what kind of mess I could make out of this.

I mean it seems simple enough, right?

2 lb dried pinto beans
Garlic powder
Ground cumin
Salt
Chili powder
Olive oil (or canola or vegetable ... I tried sesame)

The first thing you want to do is rinse the beans thoroughly and while doing so, check for and remove bad beans or tiny stones (it happens). I did this about 1/2 pound at a time using a strainer.

Once you're satisfied you're not going to be chomping on rocks or anything putrid, pour the beans in a very large pot and spread them out nice and level. Add water until there is about an inch of water between the beans and the surface. Bring to a boil on high heat and once boiling, remove from heat and drain.

Rinse out the large pot and place the beans back in. This time, fill the pot with water until you have two inches of standing water over the beans. Add garlic powder, cumin and chili powder. I used about this much:

• 1 tablespoon garlic powder
• 2 tablespoons ground cumin
• 2 tablespoons chili powder

 Now bring all that to a boil over high heat. Once boiling reduce to a simmer for about 3 1/2 to 4 hours. After 3 1/2 I tried a few beans and they weren't yet tender enough. Once they were VERY tender, I considered them ready.
 

I separated the beans from the sauce then began to process loads of cook beans in the food processor. I used pulse to process each batch little by little until I thought they looked right. You can process as much as you like either for that whole-bean texture or something pureed. If I found the beans to look a bit dry or thick, add some of the sauce.

Once you have all the beans  processed, fry them up on a skillet with some oil. I fried each batch for about 15 minutes, adding sauce as needed. I did a bit of taste-testing while frying them and found they needed some salt. Also, since I'm not using lard, bacon fat or anything like that, I added a little bit of HerbOx bouillon powder for flavor. Your tastes and opinions may vary, of course.

I refrigerated these for a day before I used them. They tasted amazing; better than the canned refried beans I normally use. My family enjoyed them in burritos this evening... extremely good flavor! I froze the rest in small portions for future use.

I hope you enjoy them as much as we have. Remember, with this dynamic recipe, you can make adjustments easily to make it your own.

Strawberry Daiquiri

Marriage requires a lot to be successful. Trust. Communication. Friendship.

Another vital bit of knowledge is how to make your loved one's favorite drink. Whenever we go out, my wife will order a strawberry daiquiri whenever the opportunity arises. It is one of her favorites and I had yet to figure out how to make it "just right".

Until this evening.

6-8 frozen strawberries (I used unsweetened)
6 ice cubes
1.5 oz Bacardi rum (the dark stuff)
4 oz Sprite
2 tsp sugar

Fruit to garish if you want

Pulverize ice in a blender then add the rum, strawberries, Sprite and sugar. Blend until smooth. Serve in any glass, or rim a fancy (or plain) glass with sugar for a special touch.

Adjust Sprite for consistancy, adjust strawberries and sugar for sweetness and of course rum for ... potency.

Simple, easy and not too bad. Made my wife smile.

Adjustments:

• Substitute 7UP, Sierra Mist, Lemonade, Limeade or Triple Sec for Sprite.
• I would not recommend using a non-calorie sweetener. I mean c'mon, you're consuming alcohol so you're already breaking a few rules (if you have any)
• Use a more intense rum, such as Myers or a spiced rum to change complexity/flavor
• Use different fruits (peaches, kiwi, bananas or raspberries)

Cheers!

Toying with my diet

Took a few weeks off my diet to test a theory. I went back to eating whatever I wanted without counting calories/fat/protein like I normally do and decreasing exercise dramatically. I gained a negligible amount of weight (a pound or 1.5 at most). This is encouraging evidence that once I've hit my target, the improvements I've been making to my health will be sustainable.

I'm back on my plan, and adjusting my fat : protein ratio. Before I was going for 2 : 3, now I'll try 1 : 2 as my goal. At 1400 calories for one day, including <= 30g fat and >= 70g protein, the radio of fat calories to protein calories with be about even (270-290 each). I've found that when I include at intake with 30+ mins dedicated exercise (200+ calories spent) I tend to lose 3.5 lbs per week.

I'm resetting my charts and my data. My old starting point in May was 324. My new one is 290. Time to see what I'm capable of :-)

Unintentional Smoothie

Last week I decided I was due for a nice long walk. The weather was perfect... light breeze, a few clouds. I strolled into the store and grabbed some of my favorite yogurt and proceeded home. Once I stepped through the front door I was feeling pretty good so I decided to have a small dish of yogurt. I popped off the lid, removed the seal, dished out a few large spoonfuls into a bowl and took a taste...

"UGH! WHAT THE HELL???"

(seriously... I yelled this)

In my blissful venture to the supermarket, my brain must've totally shut off because at that moment I came to the realization that this was PLAIN Greek Yogurt as opposed to the Fat-Free Vanilla that I enjoy so much.

Rather than try to stomach what was in the bowl, I looked quickly for an alternative. In the refrigerator were leftover pineapple slices and I noticed an unopened bag of frozen strawberries in the freezer. Bingo!

So I concocted this:

1 cup PLAIN (uy...) Fat-Free Greek Yogurt
5 frozen strawberries (Walmart-brand, no sugar added)
2 Dole pineapple slices (in 100% pineapple juice)
Baking Splenda (the flaky stuff, I used 2 tsp equivalent to two packets)
A bit of the pineapple juice from the slices
A few drops of Real Vanilla extract

Place the above in a blender, on highest speed until smooth. Pour in a glass and enjoy!


It was quite good! Zero fat, less than 200 calories and 22g protein. I could still taste the yogurt, but it was complimented well by the fruit. I used this to finish off the large carton of yogurt by treating myself to a smoothie each day.

Flatbread Pizza

Last week I wanted to make something different for dinner. While my wife and I were at Wegman's in Amherst, I wandered into the Asian Foods aisle and instantly knew what I wanted to make: Chicken Tikka Masala and Naan.

Made it all later that week and it was great. Had some leftover Naan I kept to toast and have for snacks later. These were fun to make and gave me an idea. Why not make little pizzas out of these?



I tried this out on Wednesday night and they were very good.

What you will need:
2 1/2 cups of white flour
2 tbsp vegetable oil
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 c warm water (110F)
1/2 package of active dry yeast
1/2 tbsp sugar

Small bowl or cup
Mixing bowl
Wood spoon
Electric mixer
Plastic wrap
Towel
Large frying pan
Non-stick spray

Place 1/2 cup warm water in a small bowl or cup. Mix in sugar. Sprinkle in the yeast and let it sit for about 10 minutes. The yeast will turn frothy and puffy.

Pour the foamy yeast mixture into the mixing bowl and add 1/2 cup of the flour, the oil and salt. Use the eletric mixer to combine the ingredients and add as much flour as you can without over-working the mixer. Add as much of remaining flour as you can and mix using a wooden spoon (or your hands). Once thoroughly combined, continue to knead the dough for 5-10 minutes until it is firm. It will have a "flaky" texture.

Lightly oil a large bowl and plce the dough inside. Cover with plastic wrap and towel and keep in a warm place for 60 - 90 minutes. During this time the dough rise and double in apparent size.

Divide the risen dough into 8 portions. Take each, roll into a ball and flatten into a circle using a rolling pin. Note: the dough is elastic and tough, so some pressure may be needed.

Pre-heat your frying pan or skillet on a high temperature. Spray each side of the rolled-out dough lightly with non-stick spray or blush with butter/margarine. Fry for about 30 seconds on each side.

Now you have pitas! You can stop here or continue to transform them into pizza.

When I flipped the pita over the first time, I topped the cooked side with sauce, mozzarella and diced pepperoni. Once the other side was cooked as well, I popped the pizza in the toaster oven on broil until the cheese just started to brown (about 2-3 mins).

My wife and kids had the pizzas, while I kept two of the pitas for myself to have pita wedges and refried beans.

Each pita is about 150 -175 calories (more for the pizza, of course)

Chicken Parmigiana

Super easy recipe for a popular Italian-American favorite. So simple, even I can do this without screwing it up.

First off, chicken breast is good for you. Just over four ounces (that 120 grams for you metric types) of this packs a wealth of minerals and vitamins. Aside from its vital Niacin and B6 vitamins, chicken contains Phosphorous and Selenium (over 20% RDA of each). Selenium is an element used by your immune system and is used in larger amounts in medicines to treat diseases such as bird flu, cancer, HIV and thyroid conditions. Phosphorous is used in bone and live cell production and makes WICKED glow-in the dark pigments... but no it won't make you glow. Granted, there is significant amount of cholesterol in chicken (4 ounces = 23% RDA) and most store-purchased chicken is loaded with sodium for flavor enhancement and preservation. The benefits outweigh it all. Don't go eating a plate full of chicken, but don't deny yourself of this beneficial food if you take it in moderation.

Okay back to the food.

I use the following to make my C.P. (three servings)

• 12-13 oz of skinless, boneless chicken breast
• Two egg whites
• 2/3 cup bread crumbs (homemade, plain)
• Paprika, Oregano, Black pepper, Garlic Powder
• Spaghetti sauce (room temp)
• Grated (or fresh) Parmesan cheese
• Shredded Mozzarella cheese (optional)
• Vegetable oil

Weapons of mass culinary dysfunction needed:

• Frying pan
• Baking pan (9x9"-ish)
• Two bowls
• Meat tenderizer (vicious-looking hammer or cudgel device)

Slice the chicken into 4 - 4 1/2 oz portions.  Focus all the day's stress, anger, confusion, annoyance, sorrow and frustration through your arm, into the hammer, wield it as if were Excalibur and violently thrash each piece of chicken as if it were the single cause of every hardship you have ever endured. Who needs anger management? Just knock around an innocent piece of lifeless chicken. Seriously, though... you want to hammer each chunk into a 1/2" thick flat "patty". Don't worry if it tends to flake apart a little.


Grab a deep frying pan if you have one and add enough oil so that you have a pool no more than 1/4" deep. Heat the pan (and oil) to frying temperature (~300F) but not too hot. Preheat the oven to 400F.

While this is heating up, in a bowl add your egg whites and spices. Mix them up. When the oil is hot, dip a clod of chicken mass into the egg solution then coat with breadcrumbs. Lay the breaded chicken in the pan and fry on each side for 45-seconds. When done, place the fried piece on a paper towel to absorb excess oil then place in baking pan. Do this for each piece of chicken.

Once all pieces are in the baking pan bake for 10 mins in pre-heated oven. Flip. Add a bit of sauce on each top each with cheese and bake for 10 mins more.

Serve with pasta and/or a nice salad, or make sandwiches.

This recipe might be possible to substitute catfish for the chicken. However if you try this, ease up on the level of violence needed.

Never Buy Croutons

Ok... that title is a bit too authoritative. Buy them if you like. However, if you would like to try something different, you can very easily make your own. My wife loves these, which is really saying something since she is one tough customer.


Here is everything you need:

• Bread (any kind, sliced, white, wheat, rye, rolls, buns, breadsticks, home made, store bought, stolen, borrowed, lost, found, and so on)
• Bread knife (I use an electric for this)
• Oven or toaster oven
• Sheet pan
• Bag (paper, plastic... or even a large plastic bowl with a top)

Well, that's it really. Now if you want it to taste like something other than toast, grab any of the following:

• Salt
• Pepper
• Garlic powder
• Paprika
• Onion powder
• Ground basil
• Ground oregano
• Cayenne pepper

... just about anything


Now, here's what you do

Set your oven to 250F. You can go higher, but you don't want to toast anything, you want to dry the bread out.

Okay, while that's heating up, slice your bread into cubes. Try to make them uniformly sized (1/4" or 1/2"). The larger the cubes the longer they'll need to spend in the oven. Once you have a mound of cubes, put them into the bag or container. Add your selection of spices and SHAKE.

The moisture within the bread and the porous surface will both capture some of the spices. Continue shaking until the cubes are coated.

Dump the cubes onto an ungreased sheet pan and place in your preheated oven. The amount of time needed will depend on the type of bread used, size of cubes and how spaced apart they are. I usually give it about 20-30 mins then check. If I'm not happy, I give them 10 mins more and repeat that process until I have a bunch of crunchy cubes.

When they're done, remove the pan and let the pan and cubes cool. Once they are more or less room temperature, you can store them in a sealed container or resealable storage bag. Let them cool completely or else you will get vapor in the storage container and that could make them soggy and tough.


Take it a step further...

If you ignore the last two sentences of the instructions above and replace with "...dump them into a food processor and smash the hell outta them!" you will end up with breadcrumbs. Since January of this year these are the only breadcrumbs I use. No more wasted left-over bread.






Different seasonings

Here are some ideas for seasoning combinations I've used. There are endless possibilities. If you have a spice grinder, mix the spices together and grind them all at once into a single spice concoction for greater consistency.


Simple

• Paprika
• Touch of ground salt

Asian/oriental style

• Ginger
• Cinnamon
• Corriander
• Cumin
• Cliantro
• Touch of powdered sea salt

Italian-ish

• Ground basil
• Black pepper
• Garlic powder
• Onion powder
• Light Olivio spray before baking (add extra baking time, serve fresh)
• Paprika

Sweet croutons (great if you're including fruits in your salad)

• Cinnamon
• Nutmeg (just a hint)
• Sugar
• Hot chocolate mix

Spicy

• Cayenne pepper
• Chili powder
• Paprika
• Cumin
• Cilantro
• Hint of beef flavor (HerbOx, or instead use a powdered meat-tenderizer which is usually salt, pineapple enzyme and garlic)

Broccoli Cheese Soup

Made this for the very first time last night. Worked out quite well and needs only a little tweaking.

1 cup of chicken broth (99% fatfree from Walmart)
4 oz Velveeta cheese, cubed
1/2 cup water
1/4 cup half-n-half

1/4 cup flour (white, anything grainy will NOT work)
1/8 tsp black pepper
1/2 tsp minced onion flakes

2 cups broccoli (crowns only, no chunks, chop it up nice and fine)


Pour broth, half-n-half and water into saucepan and bring to temperature, not boiling but enough to throw some mist. Add cheese and stir until mostly melted. Add flour, pepper and onion and stir until combined and smooth.

I used an electric mixed in the hot mixture to ensure a very consistant and "lump-free" result.

Bring the mixture to boiling, stirring often. Mix in broccoli and reduce to low. Cover and let simmer for 20 minutes. Stir every couple minutes.


Once done, ladel into bowls and garnish as desired (I used a few whole fresh parsley leaves and a dash of yellow cheddar cheese). This batched served three, though could be stretched to four with smaller portions.


I don't normally eat this since it will challenge my thus successful diet, however "broc-o-cheese" soup is one of my wife's all-time favorites. According to her and my son, the broccoli pieces could have been cooked more (they were a little too firm). The taste was reportedly "awesome" (yes, those words were used).


Next, time I will try one of the two following approaches:

• Steam the broccoli (whole) for 10 minutes before the crowns are chopped and placed into the soup
• Use frozen broccoli crowns in the hot soup and only simmer for 5-10 minutes. Though I am unsure how this would react with the cheese and the resulting flavor. In a pinch it might be easier.

HUGE loaf of Wheat Bread

For the past two weeks I've struggled with making a tasty wheat bread. Twice in a row, I've made "wheat cake" which was not my intention. The yeast I have should work so I've come to the conclusion that I have either weak yeast or old flour.

I picked up a couple packets of Hodgen's Mill "Extra Rise" yeast and a new sac of Gold Medal whole wheat flour.

I have a favorite french bread recipe that I use. It makes two nice 12" x 3" baguettes:

2 1/4 c flour
1 cup water
1 tbsp sugar
1 tsp salt (optional... adds elasticity)
1 tbsp shortening (optional... adds flavor and denser texture)
1 1/4 tsp yeast

To integrate the new flour and make enough for a tall loaf, I multiplied the ingredients:

4 1/2 c flour
1 c wheat flour (new)
2 1/4 c water (I added some during the mix if it looked too dry after 10 mins)
2 1/4 tsp sugar
1 tsp salt (decided to go with it)
1 1/2 tbsp light peanut oil
3 tsp yeast (fast rise)

I had to make this in two batches (my dough pot isn't quite that large.

While the second batch was being made, I let the first half of the dough rise in a glass bowl gently warmed by a water bath. Once the second was done, I rolled the two together, shaped and put into my loaf pan (dark teflon pan, heavy, measuring 12" x 6" x 5"). Let rise for 30 mins before placing in a 375F oven. I put a pie pan 1/3 full of water in the oven as well to add some moisture. Before I put the loaf in the oven, I sliced it down the middle and sprayed with a little Pam (1/2" deep).

Baked for 10 mins. Sliced it down the middle again (1/2" deep)
Baked for 25 minutes. Removed the loaf from the pan and cooled on a wire rack.

This loaf is over 8 inches high in the middle. I just bought an electric knife, so I can get large thin slices out of this. The texture is very nice (lots of small pockets) and the taste is very good.

Next loaf I make will use more 50% wheat, 50% white and the same yeast as this one.

Presentation rules...

It's probably my favorite saying: "Content is king, but presentation rules."

What does it mean? In my mind, it says that in order to begin to understand, appreciate or become interested in anything you first must be attracted to it. People are very visual (well, mostly). If you can get past how something looks, sounds or smells you are then likely to dive deeper into it.

Food is an excellent example. If you can make garbage look pleasing, someone WILL try to eat it. However if you have a delicious appetizer that looks like it came out of the ... end of a large savanna-dwelling mammal ... your hungry audience may think twice about wanting it anywhere near them, let alone amidst their taste buds.

I was in the kitchen with my daughter and she was helping me make some breadcrumbs for dinner later tonight. We noticed it was after noon and she nor her brother had lunch yet. She decided to make some of what I call "dorm-room pizza".

Take a slice of white bread (cheap, bland.... bleh). Find some leftover tomato sauce and any kind of cheese. If you have pepperoni, left over salami, ham or even bologna - slice or chop some up. Put the sauce on the bread, cheese on the sauce and meat on the cheese. Pop it in a toaster oven at 400F for 12 minutes. Simple enough.

She made four of these in total and the toaster oven went "DING!". They looked great. I asked her, "since you cooked these... can I plate them?" She looked at me funny. I explained what I meant. Then I got to work.

The outcome was pretty chic, if I do say so myself.

Just like elementary school art class: basic shapes and colors. Slice the pizzas in half to form triangles and lay them in parallel. Sprinkle a line of grated romano cheese across the slices. Add a "zig" of tomato sauce on the bottom with another sprinkle of cheese. Dust the top and the slices with a little oregano.

This meal was as cheap as they come for something you can easily bake. And looked fantastic. There were a few "wow" remarks heard.  I didn't get a chance to try any (I had my greek yogurt instead), but both my son and daughter devoured them quickly.

Cheesecake... yes, you read that correctly

A near totally home-made cheesecake is coming soon.

(home-made crust and home-made cream cheese)

This is war

Over the past few months I've been watching, reading, investigating and exploring options to finally... FINALLY get myself back in shape for the long haul. There is so much sensationalist bullshit out there about what you should eat, how you should exercise and all that nonsense that it's hard to distill the pure simple facts about HOW to actually achieve this.

In my journey thus far I have figured this much out...

1. There is no such thing as a "proper" diet. Mr. X say this and Dr. Q says that. It's all crap. Your diet affects you and you alone need to figure it out.

2. All that wonderful scientific information that entered your left ear and immediately exited the right during high school actually has practical applications in figuring this out. Oh yeah, and reading too. Read your labels; understand the chemistry at work.

3. Your body is a COMPLEX SYSTEM and like all complex systems it is prone to its own whims. You need to figure out how it works. When you put XYZ into your stomach then ABC should happen. When you exert X amount of effort for Y amount of time then the result is Z. Take note of this. Not even your doctors, dieticians, celebrity health "specialist" or personal trainer will have the real answers. Find your own equation.


So, here is what I've done. I've declared all out war. Do or die. Victory or death. I have identified an approach that will (hopefully, we'll see) work for me to finally get my crap in order. After calculating the amount of calories that are burned at rest for my age, physical condition and level of activity I have constructed a 1000-calorie plan with all the vitamins, minerals and proteins I will need for my current situation.

If my math is correct, I will incur at least a 2000 calorie deficit each day. This amounts to a weekly deficit of 14,000 calories, equivalient to 4 pounds of fatty body mass.

The toughest part is to keep my daily level of activity where it needs to be and my NO MEANS stray from my course of action. Historically, I have the willpower of ... well, none whatsoever. The foods I have chosen are low-calorie, VERY FILLING and have sensible levels of sodium, fat, sugars, fibers and cholestorol.

I'm in day 4 right now and I have never... EVER felt this good physically or mentally. Everything I eat and do is noted and displayed prominently. I plan out my meals for the day instead of grabbing what looks good. I have not a doubt that this will be a sustainable plan for me until I reach a point where I can drive up my physical activity and increase my intake of healthy, more energeric foods to complement a more active life style.

I will get there. Failure is not an option.

It might be time to buy a scale...

How to Keep Bananas from Ripening Too Quickly | eHow.com

How to Keep Bananas from Ripening Too Quickly | eHow.com

Totally by accident Mac 'n Cheese

As the next round of grocery shopping looms, the cupboards are getting bare and the fridge moreso empty. I was at a loss as to what to whip up quickly for dinner last night so I threw the following together.

Be warned, this is not healthy in the least, but it was sooooooooooooo good!

1/2 cup milk (I used 1%)
2 tbsp "Mooove over Butter" spread

Bring that up to a steamy temperature over medium heat. Add the following (measurements are guesses ... I just did this off-the-cuff)

1/2 tsp dried cilantro
1/4 tsp cayenne pepper
1/4 tsp black pepper
1/4 tsp paprika
1 tsp minced onion (I used the dry ones)
1/2 tsp garlic powder

Stir it together. Now add:

1/2 cup sour cream (I used Daisy Light)
1 cup shredded cheese (I used a blend of sharp cheddar, colby and monterey jack)

(again, these are approximates ... nothing was measured)

Here's the funny part. Using a handheld electric mixer, I blended this on medium in the hot pan while on the stove for about two minutes. I did this since the cheeses I use typically end up kind of "grainy" tasting. So I beat the heck outta them!

I had some leftover Velveeta, so I added some of that as well. Not sure home much, maybe 1/2 cup worth. I then used the mixer again in the hot pan on high for about 2 minutes. The texture was smooth. No chunks, no visible particles, just cheese and spices in sight.

Mixed the sauce into 2 1/2 cups of cooked pasta and served (I used shells). It was great!

I'll update this for accuracty and add pictures next time I make it.

Spiced Cake (work in progress)

Watch your step, as this recipe is under construction. It is no where near "perfect" but it's a start.

This makes a tasty spiced cake, however the consistency is a bit off. It's heavy like banana bread which tells me "less flour" and "less shortening" next time.

The result was a 6" x 6" two layer cake.

I used the following:

• 1 cup all-purpose flour (Robin Hood)
• 2 tbsp cornstarch
• 1/2 cup white sugar
• 1/2 tsp baking powder
• 1/4 tsp baking soda
• 1/4 tsp salt (actually a bit less)
• 1/4 tsp ground cloves
• 1/4 tsp ground cinnamon
• 1/4 tsp ground ginger
• 1/4 tsp ground allspice
• 1/8 tsp nutmeg
• 1/4 cup shortening
• 2 tbsp peanut oil
• I didn't have buttermilk so I substituted:
• 1/2 cup milk (used 1%)
• 1/2 cup light sour cream
• 1 large egg (white & yolk)
• 1 large egg (white only)

Preheat oven to 350F. Spray a bread loaf pan (~12" x 6") with Pam(tm) ant set aside.



Mix all of the dry ingredients above. I dumped it all into a bowl and mixed with fork.


Add remaining ingredients, except eggs, and beat at medium speed for abut two minutes. Next, add eggs, beat medium for two more minutes.

Pour mixture into loaf pan. Bake for about 30 mins or until a toothpick, skewer, knife or other sharp stabby object can be inserted and comes out clean.

Once done, remove from oven. Extract the cake from the pan and set it on a wire rack to cool. Once sufficiently cooled, cut the rectangular cake in half. On a serving dish, spread some cream cheese frosting on the bottom then place the first layer of cake on the frosting, frost the top of that cake then add the second layer on top. Frost the top and sides however you like.

I added a couple cinnamon sticks on top along with a sprinkle of cinnamon and ginger.

 I found it quite tasty and the cake itself was not too sweet. The texture was a bit heavy, so I need to improve that.