American Fat-Ass: Fast Food Line-up

One afternoon, I was working very hard at home: rearranging furniture, reorganizing, reshuffling and resetting. I had skipped breakfast and come lunch time, I was hungry. I was contemplating what to have and had some things from work on my mind. Somehow, I got this strange idea to try a meal from each of the fast food places we have here on Grand Island: McDonald’s, Burger King and Wendy’s. I then took the idea a step further: “Let’s objectively analyze each of these meals!” I will admit that I do have a unique perspective on what “having fun“ is all about.

With that, I set out to order similar meals from each with the intent on examining, tasting and critiquing each one.

The line-up

Wendy’s ($6.49)

Single burger w/o lettuce or tomato, pickle or onion

Small Fries

Small Diet coke

BK ($4.97)

Double cheeseburger w/o pickle or onion

Small Fries

Small Diet coke

McDonald’s ($6.19)

Quarter-pounder with cheese, w/o onion or pickle

Small fries

Small diet coke

Customer service

I visited each establishment during the noon lunch rush. I did not experience any differences between the businesses, except that Wendy’s was busier and the attendants were rushed and not as friendly as a result. Since the similarities were such, I did not consider them in the overall critique.

Drinks

The sizes were nearly identical for each, without about an ounce difference overall. McDonald’s small drink measured 16 oz while Burger King was 15oz. Wendy’s topped the group with a 16 ½ oz drink. As for taste, Wendy’s was the most carbonated, however McDonald’s diet coke had a more potent flavor. Burger King had the same carbonation level as McDonald’s and the same degree of flavor as Wendy’s.

Overall, McDonald’s offered the best small diet coke of the trio.

Fries

Each restaurant seems to have different “fry philosophies”. At first glance, McDonald’s fries are small, precise in their shape and plentiful due to their size. Burger King’s look large and intimidating, and, like McDonald’s, they appear “manufactured”. Wendy’s looked unassuming and rustic, with different shapes and skins showing at the tips and some of the sides.

McDonald’s fries weighed in at 5oz as the smallest fry in the bunch. BK and Wendy’s both measured 5 ½ ounces. Both McDonald’s and BK’s fries were crisp, but the taste of oil, while faint, was still present. Overall, both tasted generically like fries and each was identical to its comrades. Wendy’s on the other hand had a more “homely” flavor. The taste of potato was very prominent and the sea salt helped to magnify the flavor and negate any oily aftertaste. Each fry, due to the different amounts of skin present as well as different shapes, presented slight variations of flavor. McDonald’s and BK’s fries had a more “crispy” bite and I found Wendy’s to be a bit more “chewy”.

Overall, Wendy’s fries were more satisfying, both in taste and quantity.

Burgers

At first glance, McDonald’s Quarter Pounder looked fantastic and picture perfect. The defenses of the cardboard box containing it kept it safe from crushing in gouging. The sesame seeded bun was soft and not greasy. The patty itself was surprisingly thick and of the same diameter as the bun. The flavor was straight-forward: beef. There seemed to be very few flavors added to the patty, leaving opportunities to enhance its natural flavor open and unexplored. The small amount of ketchup and mustard complimented it well.

The Burger King Double-Cheeseburger possessed the same type of seeded bun as McDonald’s, however was smaller in diameter. The paper wrapping did not prevent the inevitable squeezing and twisting, so the appearance of the burger was far less appealing than the Quarter Pounder. However, given that this sandwich contains two patties instead of one, I expected more grease and was surprised to see very little. Each bite was very meaty, with the buns collapsing each time and totally putting themselves out of the equation. This was a MEAT sandwich and the buns gave no sense of presence. The favor was solid, very little had been added to the meat, however I detected a bit of beef flavor indicative of added juices.

The Single from Wendy’s was an enigma. No seeds on the bun, a bit greasy, a thin square patty with mayo and ketchup. The bun was thick and dense, hiding a small but extremely flavorful patty beneath. With each bite, I found myself having to sort through the taste of bread to finally get an opportunity to experience the meat itself. It was obvious that a blend of seasonings was added to enhance the natural taste of the meat and overall the mayo played along very well. My only regret was that there was so much bun to get through in order to encounter and appreciate the patty.

If not for the bun-to-meat ratio, Wendy’s would have been on top. If not for the “shields down” approach by BK, they may have had a chance as well. Overall, I found McDonald’s to have a superior burger among those in this group.

Overall opinion

Considering all of the experiences with these three meals, I have come to the following conclusions.

BK offers the best price-to-volume in this selection. Their food is decent enough, however handle your order with care or it may not be recognizable when you get home to eat it.

Wendy’s offers a high degree of flavor, but demands a higher price. The food in this selection was enjoyable; however the burger was disappointing in the overall configuration. If you want to savor what you eat from a fast-food establishment, I would lean in this direction.

McDonald’s has taken their vast amount of experience in their industry and constantly strives to offer a superior product. Both the drink and burger were very satisfying and I would be remiss if I did not say how surprised I was to discover this. I do, however, find their fries to be overly consistent with an air of monotony and predictability.

If I could have enjoyed a McDonald’s meal, with Wendy’s fries at BK’s prices, I think it would be as perfect a fast-food meal as there could be.

Now my next challenge is to find a way to burn all of this off.

Bon appétit!

Adjustment to diet tracking

After much reading and researching, I have decided to make a slight tweak to my intake monitoring.

Up until this point, I have been noting calories, fat (g) and protein (g) intake for each meal. Usually writing it down like this:

320 | 2 | 7

Aside from those three important metrics, I will add a fourth: dietary fiber DV%.

320 | 2 | 7 | 12%

This slight adjustment will help me keep quick track of the amount of dietary fiber I am consuming, which is important in a structured weight loss program. Presence of "fiber" in one's diet impacts the transit time of waste products through the digestive tract and improve overall tract health, if sufficient water is consumed.

Also, my local Walmart sells a high fiber cinnamon swirl oatmeal that I try to include in each morning's breakfast (40% DV).

Diet Progress

Good times. Really. I keep telling myself that.

I haven't been as on-top-of-the-situation regarding my diet as I'd like, however I continue to make progress. As of this morning I am at 286, my lowest thus far. I haven't been keeping written record of everything like I was months ago, however I am being a lot more conscious of what I'm stuffing my face with (if you want to call < 2000 calories/day "stuffing your face").

A few observations, however, have made my progress from here on a bit easier to consider:

• Less fat = easier to directly control my weight (faster response)
• More protein = easier on my system to process food (fuel for muscles to build and function)
• Never consume more than 800 calories in a single meal/snack event

Furthermore, I've discovered a delicious and fat-free snack at my local Tops grocery store. They sell these rice snacks in the bulk foods aisle. They contain soy, rice, sesame, chili peppers and seaweed. They are slightly salty and ever-so-slightly spicy. Quite delicious and zero fat.

Refried Beans

For the past few months I've been itching to try my hand at making my own refried beans. Each time I've passed the dried pintos in the store it has been a thought. Earlier this week I decided to dive in and see what kind of mess I could make out of this.

I mean it seems simple enough, right?

2 lb dried pinto beans
Garlic powder
Ground cumin
Salt
Chili powder
Olive oil (or canola or vegetable ... I tried sesame)

The first thing you want to do is rinse the beans thoroughly and while doing so, check for and remove bad beans or tiny stones (it happens). I did this about 1/2 pound at a time using a strainer.

Once you're satisfied you're not going to be chomping on rocks or anything putrid, pour the beans in a very large pot and spread them out nice and level. Add water until there is about an inch of water between the beans and the surface. Bring to a boil on high heat and once boiling, remove from heat and drain.

Rinse out the large pot and place the beans back in. This time, fill the pot with water until you have two inches of standing water over the beans. Add garlic powder, cumin and chili powder. I used about this much:

• 1 tablespoon garlic powder
• 2 tablespoons ground cumin
• 2 tablespoons chili powder

 Now bring all that to a boil over high heat. Once boiling reduce to a simmer for about 3 1/2 to 4 hours. After 3 1/2 I tried a few beans and they weren't yet tender enough. Once they were VERY tender, I considered them ready.
 

I separated the beans from the sauce then began to process loads of cook beans in the food processor. I used pulse to process each batch little by little until I thought they looked right. You can process as much as you like either for that whole-bean texture or something pureed. If I found the beans to look a bit dry or thick, add some of the sauce.

Once you have all the beans  processed, fry them up on a skillet with some oil. I fried each batch for about 15 minutes, adding sauce as needed. I did a bit of taste-testing while frying them and found they needed some salt. Also, since I'm not using lard, bacon fat or anything like that, I added a little bit of HerbOx bouillon powder for flavor. Your tastes and opinions may vary, of course.

I refrigerated these for a day before I used them. They tasted amazing; better than the canned refried beans I normally use. My family enjoyed them in burritos this evening... extremely good flavor! I froze the rest in small portions for future use.

I hope you enjoy them as much as we have. Remember, with this dynamic recipe, you can make adjustments easily to make it your own.

Strawberry Daiquiri

Marriage requires a lot to be successful. Trust. Communication. Friendship.

Another vital bit of knowledge is how to make your loved one's favorite drink. Whenever we go out, my wife will order a strawberry daiquiri whenever the opportunity arises. It is one of her favorites and I had yet to figure out how to make it "just right".

Until this evening.

6-8 frozen strawberries (I used unsweetened)
6 ice cubes
1.5 oz Bacardi rum (the dark stuff)
4 oz Sprite
2 tsp sugar

Fruit to garish if you want

Pulverize ice in a blender then add the rum, strawberries, Sprite and sugar. Blend until smooth. Serve in any glass, or rim a fancy (or plain) glass with sugar for a special touch.

Adjust Sprite for consistancy, adjust strawberries and sugar for sweetness and of course rum for ... potency.

Simple, easy and not too bad. Made my wife smile.

Adjustments:

• Substitute 7UP, Sierra Mist, Lemonade, Limeade or Triple Sec for Sprite.
• I would not recommend using a non-calorie sweetener. I mean c'mon, you're consuming alcohol so you're already breaking a few rules (if you have any)
• Use a more intense rum, such as Myers or a spiced rum to change complexity/flavor
• Use different fruits (peaches, kiwi, bananas or raspberries)

Cheers!

Toying with my diet

Took a few weeks off my diet to test a theory. I went back to eating whatever I wanted without counting calories/fat/protein like I normally do and decreasing exercise dramatically. I gained a negligible amount of weight (a pound or 1.5 at most). This is encouraging evidence that once I've hit my target, the improvements I've been making to my health will be sustainable.

I'm back on my plan, and adjusting my fat : protein ratio. Before I was going for 2 : 3, now I'll try 1 : 2 as my goal. At 1400 calories for one day, including <= 30g fat and >= 70g protein, the radio of fat calories to protein calories with be about even (270-290 each). I've found that when I include at intake with 30+ mins dedicated exercise (200+ calories spent) I tend to lose 3.5 lbs per week.

I'm resetting my charts and my data. My old starting point in May was 324. My new one is 290. Time to see what I'm capable of :-)

Unintentional Smoothie

Last week I decided I was due for a nice long walk. The weather was perfect... light breeze, a few clouds. I strolled into the store and grabbed some of my favorite yogurt and proceeded home. Once I stepped through the front door I was feeling pretty good so I decided to have a small dish of yogurt. I popped off the lid, removed the seal, dished out a few large spoonfuls into a bowl and took a taste...

"UGH! WHAT THE HELL???"

(seriously... I yelled this)

In my blissful venture to the supermarket, my brain must've totally shut off because at that moment I came to the realization that this was PLAIN Greek Yogurt as opposed to the Fat-Free Vanilla that I enjoy so much.

Rather than try to stomach what was in the bowl, I looked quickly for an alternative. In the refrigerator were leftover pineapple slices and I noticed an unopened bag of frozen strawberries in the freezer. Bingo!

So I concocted this:

1 cup PLAIN (uy...) Fat-Free Greek Yogurt
5 frozen strawberries (Walmart-brand, no sugar added)
2 Dole pineapple slices (in 100% pineapple juice)
Baking Splenda (the flaky stuff, I used 2 tsp equivalent to two packets)
A bit of the pineapple juice from the slices
A few drops of Real Vanilla extract

Place the above in a blender, on highest speed until smooth. Pour in a glass and enjoy!


It was quite good! Zero fat, less than 200 calories and 22g protein. I could still taste the yogurt, but it was complimented well by the fruit. I used this to finish off the large carton of yogurt by treating myself to a smoothie each day.

Flatbread Pizza

Last week I wanted to make something different for dinner. While my wife and I were at Wegman's in Amherst, I wandered into the Asian Foods aisle and instantly knew what I wanted to make: Chicken Tikka Masala and Naan.

Made it all later that week and it was great. Had some leftover Naan I kept to toast and have for snacks later. These were fun to make and gave me an idea. Why not make little pizzas out of these?



I tried this out on Wednesday night and they were very good.

What you will need:
2 1/2 cups of white flour
2 tbsp vegetable oil
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 c warm water (110F)
1/2 package of active dry yeast
1/2 tbsp sugar

Small bowl or cup
Mixing bowl
Wood spoon
Electric mixer
Plastic wrap
Towel
Large frying pan
Non-stick spray

Place 1/2 cup warm water in a small bowl or cup. Mix in sugar. Sprinkle in the yeast and let it sit for about 10 minutes. The yeast will turn frothy and puffy.

Pour the foamy yeast mixture into the mixing bowl and add 1/2 cup of the flour, the oil and salt. Use the eletric mixer to combine the ingredients and add as much flour as you can without over-working the mixer. Add as much of remaining flour as you can and mix using a wooden spoon (or your hands). Once thoroughly combined, continue to knead the dough for 5-10 minutes until it is firm. It will have a "flaky" texture.

Lightly oil a large bowl and plce the dough inside. Cover with plastic wrap and towel and keep in a warm place for 60 - 90 minutes. During this time the dough rise and double in apparent size.

Divide the risen dough into 8 portions. Take each, roll into a ball and flatten into a circle using a rolling pin. Note: the dough is elastic and tough, so some pressure may be needed.

Pre-heat your frying pan or skillet on a high temperature. Spray each side of the rolled-out dough lightly with non-stick spray or blush with butter/margarine. Fry for about 30 seconds on each side.

Now you have pitas! You can stop here or continue to transform them into pizza.

When I flipped the pita over the first time, I topped the cooked side with sauce, mozzarella and diced pepperoni. Once the other side was cooked as well, I popped the pizza in the toaster oven on broil until the cheese just started to brown (about 2-3 mins).

My wife and kids had the pizzas, while I kept two of the pitas for myself to have pita wedges and refried beans.

Each pita is about 150 -175 calories (more for the pizza, of course)

Chicken Parmigiana

Super easy recipe for a popular Italian-American favorite. So simple, even I can do this without screwing it up.

First off, chicken breast is good for you. Just over four ounces (that 120 grams for you metric types) of this packs a wealth of minerals and vitamins. Aside from its vital Niacin and B6 vitamins, chicken contains Phosphorous and Selenium (over 20% RDA of each). Selenium is an element used by your immune system and is used in larger amounts in medicines to treat diseases such as bird flu, cancer, HIV and thyroid conditions. Phosphorous is used in bone and live cell production and makes WICKED glow-in the dark pigments... but no it won't make you glow. Granted, there is significant amount of cholesterol in chicken (4 ounces = 23% RDA) and most store-purchased chicken is loaded with sodium for flavor enhancement and preservation. The benefits outweigh it all. Don't go eating a plate full of chicken, but don't deny yourself of this beneficial food if you take it in moderation.

Okay back to the food.

I use the following to make my C.P. (three servings)

• 12-13 oz of skinless, boneless chicken breast
• Two egg whites
• 2/3 cup bread crumbs (homemade, plain)
• Paprika, Oregano, Black pepper, Garlic Powder
• Spaghetti sauce (room temp)
• Grated (or fresh) Parmesan cheese
• Shredded Mozzarella cheese (optional)
• Vegetable oil

Weapons of mass culinary dysfunction needed:

• Frying pan
• Baking pan (9x9"-ish)
• Two bowls
• Meat tenderizer (vicious-looking hammer or cudgel device)

Slice the chicken into 4 - 4 1/2 oz portions.  Focus all the day's stress, anger, confusion, annoyance, sorrow and frustration through your arm, into the hammer, wield it as if were Excalibur and violently thrash each piece of chicken as if it were the single cause of every hardship you have ever endured. Who needs anger management? Just knock around an innocent piece of lifeless chicken. Seriously, though... you want to hammer each chunk into a 1/2" thick flat "patty". Don't worry if it tends to flake apart a little.


Grab a deep frying pan if you have one and add enough oil so that you have a pool no more than 1/4" deep. Heat the pan (and oil) to frying temperature (~300F) but not too hot. Preheat the oven to 400F.

While this is heating up, in a bowl add your egg whites and spices. Mix them up. When the oil is hot, dip a clod of chicken mass into the egg solution then coat with breadcrumbs. Lay the breaded chicken in the pan and fry on each side for 45-seconds. When done, place the fried piece on a paper towel to absorb excess oil then place in baking pan. Do this for each piece of chicken.

Once all pieces are in the baking pan bake for 10 mins in pre-heated oven. Flip. Add a bit of sauce on each top each with cheese and bake for 10 mins more.

Serve with pasta and/or a nice salad, or make sandwiches.

This recipe might be possible to substitute catfish for the chicken. However if you try this, ease up on the level of violence needed.

Never Buy Croutons

Ok... that title is a bit too authoritative. Buy them if you like. However, if you would like to try something different, you can very easily make your own. My wife loves these, which is really saying something since she is one tough customer.


Here is everything you need:

• Bread (any kind, sliced, white, wheat, rye, rolls, buns, breadsticks, home made, store bought, stolen, borrowed, lost, found, and so on)
• Bread knife (I use an electric for this)
• Oven or toaster oven
• Sheet pan
• Bag (paper, plastic... or even a large plastic bowl with a top)

Well, that's it really. Now if you want it to taste like something other than toast, grab any of the following:

• Salt
• Pepper
• Garlic powder
• Paprika
• Onion powder
• Ground basil
• Ground oregano
• Cayenne pepper

... just about anything


Now, here's what you do

Set your oven to 250F. You can go higher, but you don't want to toast anything, you want to dry the bread out.

Okay, while that's heating up, slice your bread into cubes. Try to make them uniformly sized (1/4" or 1/2"). The larger the cubes the longer they'll need to spend in the oven. Once you have a mound of cubes, put them into the bag or container. Add your selection of spices and SHAKE.

The moisture within the bread and the porous surface will both capture some of the spices. Continue shaking until the cubes are coated.

Dump the cubes onto an ungreased sheet pan and place in your preheated oven. The amount of time needed will depend on the type of bread used, size of cubes and how spaced apart they are. I usually give it about 20-30 mins then check. If I'm not happy, I give them 10 mins more and repeat that process until I have a bunch of crunchy cubes.

When they're done, remove the pan and let the pan and cubes cool. Once they are more or less room temperature, you can store them in a sealed container or resealable storage bag. Let them cool completely or else you will get vapor in the storage container and that could make them soggy and tough.


Take it a step further...

If you ignore the last two sentences of the instructions above and replace with "...dump them into a food processor and smash the hell outta them!" you will end up with breadcrumbs. Since January of this year these are the only breadcrumbs I use. No more wasted left-over bread.






Different seasonings

Here are some ideas for seasoning combinations I've used. There are endless possibilities. If you have a spice grinder, mix the spices together and grind them all at once into a single spice concoction for greater consistency.


Simple

• Paprika
• Touch of ground salt

Asian/oriental style

• Ginger
• Cinnamon
• Corriander
• Cumin
• Cliantro
• Touch of powdered sea salt

Italian-ish

• Ground basil
• Black pepper
• Garlic powder
• Onion powder
• Light Olivio spray before baking (add extra baking time, serve fresh)
• Paprika

Sweet croutons (great if you're including fruits in your salad)

• Cinnamon
• Nutmeg (just a hint)
• Sugar
• Hot chocolate mix

Spicy

• Cayenne pepper
• Chili powder
• Paprika
• Cumin
• Cilantro
• Hint of beef flavor (HerbOx, or instead use a powdered meat-tenderizer which is usually salt, pineapple enzyme and garlic)

Broccoli Cheese Soup

Made this for the very first time last night. Worked out quite well and needs only a little tweaking.

1 cup of chicken broth (99% fatfree from Walmart)
4 oz Velveeta cheese, cubed
1/2 cup water
1/4 cup half-n-half

1/4 cup flour (white, anything grainy will NOT work)
1/8 tsp black pepper
1/2 tsp minced onion flakes

2 cups broccoli (crowns only, no chunks, chop it up nice and fine)


Pour broth, half-n-half and water into saucepan and bring to temperature, not boiling but enough to throw some mist. Add cheese and stir until mostly melted. Add flour, pepper and onion and stir until combined and smooth.

I used an electric mixed in the hot mixture to ensure a very consistant and "lump-free" result.

Bring the mixture to boiling, stirring often. Mix in broccoli and reduce to low. Cover and let simmer for 20 minutes. Stir every couple minutes.


Once done, ladel into bowls and garnish as desired (I used a few whole fresh parsley leaves and a dash of yellow cheddar cheese). This batched served three, though could be stretched to four with smaller portions.


I don't normally eat this since it will challenge my thus successful diet, however "broc-o-cheese" soup is one of my wife's all-time favorites. According to her and my son, the broccoli pieces could have been cooked more (they were a little too firm). The taste was reportedly "awesome" (yes, those words were used).


Next, time I will try one of the two following approaches:

• Steam the broccoli (whole) for 10 minutes before the crowns are chopped and placed into the soup
• Use frozen broccoli crowns in the hot soup and only simmer for 5-10 minutes. Though I am unsure how this would react with the cheese and the resulting flavor. In a pinch it might be easier.

HUGE loaf of Wheat Bread

For the past two weeks I've struggled with making a tasty wheat bread. Twice in a row, I've made "wheat cake" which was not my intention. The yeast I have should work so I've come to the conclusion that I have either weak yeast or old flour.

I picked up a couple packets of Hodgen's Mill "Extra Rise" yeast and a new sac of Gold Medal whole wheat flour.

I have a favorite french bread recipe that I use. It makes two nice 12" x 3" baguettes:

2 1/4 c flour
1 cup water
1 tbsp sugar
1 tsp salt (optional... adds elasticity)
1 tbsp shortening (optional... adds flavor and denser texture)
1 1/4 tsp yeast

To integrate the new flour and make enough for a tall loaf, I multiplied the ingredients:

4 1/2 c flour
1 c wheat flour (new)
2 1/4 c water (I added some during the mix if it looked too dry after 10 mins)
2 1/4 tsp sugar
1 tsp salt (decided to go with it)
1 1/2 tbsp light peanut oil
3 tsp yeast (fast rise)

I had to make this in two batches (my dough pot isn't quite that large.

While the second batch was being made, I let the first half of the dough rise in a glass bowl gently warmed by a water bath. Once the second was done, I rolled the two together, shaped and put into my loaf pan (dark teflon pan, heavy, measuring 12" x 6" x 5"). Let rise for 30 mins before placing in a 375F oven. I put a pie pan 1/3 full of water in the oven as well to add some moisture. Before I put the loaf in the oven, I sliced it down the middle and sprayed with a little Pam (1/2" deep).

Baked for 10 mins. Sliced it down the middle again (1/2" deep)
Baked for 25 minutes. Removed the loaf from the pan and cooled on a wire rack.

This loaf is over 8 inches high in the middle. I just bought an electric knife, so I can get large thin slices out of this. The texture is very nice (lots of small pockets) and the taste is very good.

Next loaf I make will use more 50% wheat, 50% white and the same yeast as this one.

Presentation rules...

It's probably my favorite saying: "Content is king, but presentation rules."

What does it mean? In my mind, it says that in order to begin to understand, appreciate or become interested in anything you first must be attracted to it. People are very visual (well, mostly). If you can get past how something looks, sounds or smells you are then likely to dive deeper into it.

Food is an excellent example. If you can make garbage look pleasing, someone WILL try to eat it. However if you have a delicious appetizer that looks like it came out of the ... end of a large savanna-dwelling mammal ... your hungry audience may think twice about wanting it anywhere near them, let alone amidst their taste buds.

I was in the kitchen with my daughter and she was helping me make some breadcrumbs for dinner later tonight. We noticed it was after noon and she nor her brother had lunch yet. She decided to make some of what I call "dorm-room pizza".

Take a slice of white bread (cheap, bland.... bleh). Find some leftover tomato sauce and any kind of cheese. If you have pepperoni, left over salami, ham or even bologna - slice or chop some up. Put the sauce on the bread, cheese on the sauce and meat on the cheese. Pop it in a toaster oven at 400F for 12 minutes. Simple enough.

She made four of these in total and the toaster oven went "DING!". They looked great. I asked her, "since you cooked these... can I plate them?" She looked at me funny. I explained what I meant. Then I got to work.

The outcome was pretty chic, if I do say so myself.

Just like elementary school art class: basic shapes and colors. Slice the pizzas in half to form triangles and lay them in parallel. Sprinkle a line of grated romano cheese across the slices. Add a "zig" of tomato sauce on the bottom with another sprinkle of cheese. Dust the top and the slices with a little oregano.

This meal was as cheap as they come for something you can easily bake. And looked fantastic. There were a few "wow" remarks heard.  I didn't get a chance to try any (I had my greek yogurt instead), but both my son and daughter devoured them quickly.

Cheesecake... yes, you read that correctly

A near totally home-made cheesecake is coming soon.

(home-made crust and home-made cream cheese)

This is war

Over the past few months I've been watching, reading, investigating and exploring options to finally... FINALLY get myself back in shape for the long haul. There is so much sensationalist bullshit out there about what you should eat, how you should exercise and all that nonsense that it's hard to distill the pure simple facts about HOW to actually achieve this.

In my journey thus far I have figured this much out...

1. There is no such thing as a "proper" diet. Mr. X say this and Dr. Q says that. It's all crap. Your diet affects you and you alone need to figure it out.

2. All that wonderful scientific information that entered your left ear and immediately exited the right during high school actually has practical applications in figuring this out. Oh yeah, and reading too. Read your labels; understand the chemistry at work.

3. Your body is a COMPLEX SYSTEM and like all complex systems it is prone to its own whims. You need to figure out how it works. When you put XYZ into your stomach then ABC should happen. When you exert X amount of effort for Y amount of time then the result is Z. Take note of this. Not even your doctors, dieticians, celebrity health "specialist" or personal trainer will have the real answers. Find your own equation.


So, here is what I've done. I've declared all out war. Do or die. Victory or death. I have identified an approach that will (hopefully, we'll see) work for me to finally get my crap in order. After calculating the amount of calories that are burned at rest for my age, physical condition and level of activity I have constructed a 1000-calorie plan with all the vitamins, minerals and proteins I will need for my current situation.

If my math is correct, I will incur at least a 2000 calorie deficit each day. This amounts to a weekly deficit of 14,000 calories, equivalient to 4 pounds of fatty body mass.

The toughest part is to keep my daily level of activity where it needs to be and my NO MEANS stray from my course of action. Historically, I have the willpower of ... well, none whatsoever. The foods I have chosen are low-calorie, VERY FILLING and have sensible levels of sodium, fat, sugars, fibers and cholestorol.

I'm in day 4 right now and I have never... EVER felt this good physically or mentally. Everything I eat and do is noted and displayed prominently. I plan out my meals for the day instead of grabbing what looks good. I have not a doubt that this will be a sustainable plan for me until I reach a point where I can drive up my physical activity and increase my intake of healthy, more energeric foods to complement a more active life style.

I will get there. Failure is not an option.

It might be time to buy a scale...

How to Keep Bananas from Ripening Too Quickly | eHow.com

How to Keep Bananas from Ripening Too Quickly | eHow.com

Totally by accident Mac 'n Cheese

As the next round of grocery shopping looms, the cupboards are getting bare and the fridge moreso empty. I was at a loss as to what to whip up quickly for dinner last night so I threw the following together.

Be warned, this is not healthy in the least, but it was sooooooooooooo good!

1/2 cup milk (I used 1%)
2 tbsp "Mooove over Butter" spread

Bring that up to a steamy temperature over medium heat. Add the following (measurements are guesses ... I just did this off-the-cuff)

1/2 tsp dried cilantro
1/4 tsp cayenne pepper
1/4 tsp black pepper
1/4 tsp paprika
1 tsp minced onion (I used the dry ones)
1/2 tsp garlic powder

Stir it together. Now add:

1/2 cup sour cream (I used Daisy Light)
1 cup shredded cheese (I used a blend of sharp cheddar, colby and monterey jack)

(again, these are approximates ... nothing was measured)

Here's the funny part. Using a handheld electric mixer, I blended this on medium in the hot pan while on the stove for about two minutes. I did this since the cheeses I use typically end up kind of "grainy" tasting. So I beat the heck outta them!

I had some leftover Velveeta, so I added some of that as well. Not sure home much, maybe 1/2 cup worth. I then used the mixer again in the hot pan on high for about 2 minutes. The texture was smooth. No chunks, no visible particles, just cheese and spices in sight.

Mixed the sauce into 2 1/2 cups of cooked pasta and served (I used shells). It was great!

I'll update this for accuracty and add pictures next time I make it.

Spiced Cake (work in progress)

Watch your step, as this recipe is under construction. It is no where near "perfect" but it's a start.

This makes a tasty spiced cake, however the consistency is a bit off. It's heavy like banana bread which tells me "less flour" and "less shortening" next time.

The result was a 6" x 6" two layer cake.

I used the following:

• 1 cup all-purpose flour (Robin Hood)
• 2 tbsp cornstarch
• 1/2 cup white sugar
• 1/2 tsp baking powder
• 1/4 tsp baking soda
• 1/4 tsp salt (actually a bit less)
• 1/4 tsp ground cloves
• 1/4 tsp ground cinnamon
• 1/4 tsp ground ginger
• 1/4 tsp ground allspice
• 1/8 tsp nutmeg
• 1/4 cup shortening
• 2 tbsp peanut oil
• I didn't have buttermilk so I substituted:
• 1/2 cup milk (used 1%)
• 1/2 cup light sour cream
• 1 large egg (white & yolk)
• 1 large egg (white only)

Preheat oven to 350F. Spray a bread loaf pan (~12" x 6") with Pam(tm) ant set aside.



Mix all of the dry ingredients above. I dumped it all into a bowl and mixed with fork.


Add remaining ingredients, except eggs, and beat at medium speed for abut two minutes. Next, add eggs, beat medium for two more minutes.

Pour mixture into loaf pan. Bake for about 30 mins or until a toothpick, skewer, knife or other sharp stabby object can be inserted and comes out clean.

Once done, remove from oven. Extract the cake from the pan and set it on a wire rack to cool. Once sufficiently cooled, cut the rectangular cake in half. On a serving dish, spread some cream cheese frosting on the bottom then place the first layer of cake on the frosting, frost the top of that cake then add the second layer on top. Frost the top and sides however you like.

I added a couple cinnamon sticks on top along with a sprinkle of cinnamon and ginger.

 I found it quite tasty and the cake itself was not too sweet. The texture was a bit heavy, so I need to improve that.

Difference between "pasta" and "pizza" sauce

Tonight the Sabres play in game 5 of the Stanley Cup quarter finals. Given that and the fact we have company over tonight, I was going to make some small pizzas. I have no pizza sauce on-hand but I have a LOT of pasta sauce.

This got me thinking about how the two are different. I have never made any tomato-based sauce before so I had no clue at all. Little secret, tomatoes repulse me. I cannot stand them, so I do not work with them often.

A quick search on Google yielded many explainations, I liked this one the best:

http://www.pizza-coupon.com/blog/what-is-the-difference-between-pizza-sauce-and-spaghetti-sauce/

I'll try something with a jar I have on-hand and see how it turns out.

Update

Blended the contents of a 16oz jar of sauce to make it very smooth. In a large saucepan, I brought the blended sauce to a boil and reduced to a simmer for 30 mins. During that time, I added garlic and onion power as well as some cilantro, dash of ground red pepper and some dried oregano.

After simmering, I allowed 30 mins cool-down. I noticed that there was a lot of separation of the liquid vs. the solid portion of the sauce. Since pizza-style sauce is typically thicker than pasta sauce, I had this idea...

The same situation occurs in my cream cheese recipe, where I need to remove the liquid from the sour cream to yield a thicker, creamier cheese. With this in mind, I used a cloth to strain some of the sauce. In about 30 seconds I had what I was looking for, and a whole lot less sauce. I'm repeating the above process with another 16oz jar to double the resulting volume of pizza sauce.

SPARTANS! Tonight we dine... on pizza!

There are few things I enjoy making more than pizza (my chili is one, but that's another story for another day). Tonight the menu on the 'fridge says "pizza". As most everyone knows, this is one of the most dynamic foods in the world. Anything goes for toppings. It can be eaten hot, warm or cold. It fits nicely into any meal and almost everyone likes some form of pizza.

 

This post will be updated this evening!

Update:

Just put the ingredients into the bread machine to mix and knead while I work.

Ingredients used:

• 3 cups Robin Hood white flour
• 1 cup very warm water
• 1 tbsp light peanut oil
• 1 tbsp sugar
• 'splash' of white vinegar (a bit less than 1/2 tsp)
• 1 1/4 tsp active yeast

Added the above in order and set for "dough". The machine will run for 90 minutes. After it's done, I'll put the dough in the refridgerator while I run some errands outside the house. This has the added benefit of giving the yeast a chance to work on the dough while preventing excessive rising. To give the bread a boost after I take it out later, I've added some vinegar to the mix. Should re-rise like hell when it take it to shape and prep.

Needs

At some point, I'd like to pick up a spice grinder and something that I can use to process/reprocess beef, chicken, etc (like a meat grinder). I use my large food processor for this to make meatballs and my zombie burgers (lol) but I don't want to burn up the motor.

More or less a "note to self".

A Basic Hot Chai

I'm a couple weeks late but here goes. Grab a small saucepan and add the following:

1/2 cup of cold water
3/4 cup of milk (lowfat or whole)

Set the pan aside.


Now if the fun part. Gather the following ingredients:


3 whole cloves
3 cardamom pods
1/2 cinnamon stick (1 1/2 inch)
6-8 black peppercorns
Quarter-sized slice of ginger root (sliced into wedges)
pinch of star anise seeds
1 teabag (I used a store-brand black decaf)

Here is your cast of players for this spicy ensemble:

Cut the teabag open and pour contents into the cold saucepan. Drop in the ginger wedges.

Smash (hammer, thrash, pummel or otherwise destroy) the cinnamon stick. Drop dismembered pieces into the saucepan.

Grind up the cloves, peppercorns, anise and cardamom pods (pods and interior seeds together). I used a mortar since I'm taking the low-tech route today. Dump it all into the saucepan and stir.

Measure out 2-4 teaspoons of sugar (or your preferred sweetener) and set it aside.

Bring the mixture to a boil, stirring repeatedly. Once the bubbling starts, add the sugar and stir it up. Remove the saucepan from heat. Let it set for about 5 minutes (or more, the more time, the more flavor but not too long or you will cool the mixture too much for the next step).

Strain the mixture into a large cup. I poured the tea into 2-cup measuring cup then poured that through a strainer into the large cup.


The result of this is a very "basic" chai in my opinion. From this platform you can tweak ingredients.

Some of what I like to do:

• Add cayenne pepper
• Add vanilla
• Add cinnamon powder to the cup
• Add allspice
• Replace anise with fennel
• Omit the ginger, boost the cardamom for a whole different taste

Of course the options are limited by your own desire alone.

Enjoy! I'd be interested to hear of any adjustments/improvements/etc anyone makes to this. It's very dynamic.

Chai ... something hot to chill out with

I was going to post a little something that I was working on with a homemade chai creation, however I have unwittingly used up a few of the necessary ingredients. This means I will have to wait a couple weeks until I can really put something on here. I hate just posting anything without actually whipping it up in real time.

The tough part with chai is that it never comes out the same way twice when I make it. I always tweak, adjust or experiment with something on the occasions when I make it myself. Usually, for convenience sake, I use "pre-fab" chai tea bags. Some are better than others, but I find Tazo is my favorite and Stash my second.

However, nothing and I mean NOTHING beats a homemade chai. A little effort is needed, but it pays off. What I have done is scour the almighty Internet for ideas about how to do this. I've tried dozens of recipes and recommendations. No single approach seems to be what I am looking for and when some are combined the result are really fantastic.

In a couple weeks I will have something to put here, however until then if you want to do you own exploration, allow me to give you a few pieces of advice:

1. Avoid using pre-powered spices to make the "umph" part of the tea. It's just not the same. Your "pre-fab" chai tea bags have been processed (by whatever means) so that the flavor is more concentrated. If you want to make your efforts worthwhile, use "raw" ingredients.
2. Your primary components are cardamom, ginger, cinnamon, black pepper and tea. Other countless additives very based on taste.
3. Traditionally chai is brewed in hot liquid, not in heated then cooling liquid to maximize potency of the spices used. Furthermore this liquid is usually 50% water / 50% milk (this varies).

I'll be adding more (a recipe, pictures and heck, maybe a video) once I get what I need. 

Background

The whole "gas stove" theme is nice and all, but I wanted to do something custom. Any ideas out there? For some reason I just can't come up with something I like.

Hamster Wheels and Human Destiny

Exercise.

Okay, I've just set the tone for this little rant. Chances are, you are either now nodding up and down or shaking your head left and right either consciously or sub-consciously. My perspective on this, just to share (it's a blog afterall) is quite simple.

Personally, I find the idea of exercise 100% appalling. It is silly. Wasteful. Uninteresting. Uninspiring.

I had a hamster once (several actually, but that is another story). Her name was "Zelda". She had this tiny wheel that she practically lived on. I'm serious! She ran in it, climbed over it (unsuccessfully), slept in it and chewed on it. She loved her wheel. Many hours were spent watching with fascination at her obsession with this simple device. She would run and run and run... and never get anywhere.

We can all relate to that, right folks?

Anyway. Fast forward a bit. I'm in my thirties. I sit at a computer A LOT. No, not here on the 'net goofing off. I mean at work trying to make a few bucks. I have a screwed up knee thanks to a once fleeting feeling of teenage invincibility. I live in Buffalo (pizza and wings and Mighty Taco, need I say more).

A couple years ago, I decided it was time to get off my ass and get to work on improving my health situation. My brother was kind enough to lend me this fantastic elliptical exercise machine. I set it up, tried it out and enjoyed how it felt to use it. Then over time... I used it less... and less... you know the story.

Why did I stop using it? Was I lazy? Did I not care? Was it too much work? No, not at all. It was FREAKIN' BORING. I was staring at the dust-collecting coat rack it had become and thought, rather unintentionally, "I don't like my hamster wheel anymore".

I was running and running and running... and would never get anywhere. No feeling of accomplishment besides a sincere happiness that I was finally done with the routine for that morning or afternoon.

What is a poor hamster to do?

Then the shock came. One afternoon in November I was lying in bed trying to sleep and then felt this odd flutter in my chest. Then again. I checked my pulse (not something I used to do often). Every 20 beats or so, I would skip one. Needless to say, this scared the hell out of me. I went to a doctor (for the first time in 10 years) and tests were done. Result: too much stress, too much caffeine, too little exercise. My weight was high, but I was in good health otherwise. My doctor, being a simple guy, recommended a stationary bike. I nodded and in my mind thought "no more wheels, no way".

At home that evening I devised a strategy that to this day I am still putting into practice.

First: decrease use of caffeine. I used to drink 8-10 diet sodas per day (minimum!), plus coffee on occasion. I cut this immediately. That was tough, but today I have a little now and then, but coffee, tea and soft drinks are not staple beverages for me. Water, water and more water!

Second: alleviate some stress. No magic here. I had to get it in my head that worrying was pointless. If you cannot affect or change it, do not worry about it. If you control your destiny then do you best. That is that. No more, no less. I don't worry as much anymore. I'm too busy to worry!

Third: exercise. We have a gym here in our community. Free use for all residents. I have no intention of doing so. I know what will happen. What I have done is make a promise to myself: "I will invest 30 minutes a day to improve my level of physical activity. If I cannot do so I will invest an hour the next day. I will make it interesting and fun."

I won't lie. This is very difficult for me. However, I learned something about myself in this: I am a goal-oriented person. Put something ahead of me that I am supposed to accomplish and keep me engaged and I will achieve it. So what do I do?

I walk.

Simple right? I walk to the pharmacy (1 mile round trip), I walk to the grocery store (1.5 mile round trip), I walk to the auto shop to drop off and pick up the car (1.5 mile each way). This has worked very well. Am I losing a lot of weight? Not quickly. Am I training my damaged knee for more activity? Yes. Am I improving my metabolism? Yes. Am I giving myself an opportunity to relieve stress and meditate on important matters? Yes. Am I actually going somewhere and doing something when I exercise? YES. Am I enjoying it? HELL YES!


As an added bonus, I usually walk with my wife. This helps the time pass and gives us both an opportunity to talk and catch up on thing. So on top of it all, this routine is also improving communication at home.

I found something I love to do that accomplishes many goals. Not fancy. Just get up and go somewhere and do it often. My knee burns like hell sometimes... but it feels great once I finish my walk. I'm starting to go further and walk faster. Less pain each time.

This spring once the snow has left and the temps are in the 50F's I will begin jogging in the morning along a nice trail on the west side of the island. I don't think I'll get bored of it. I'm enjoying being on the move all the time in control of where I go and not spinning around in my human hamster wheel.

Homemade Cream Cheese

Bagels. What can I say? I love bagels. Some of my friends who are fortunate enough to live in New Jersey have some of the best bagels on the planet.

I also enjoy a nice cream cheese on my bagel.  However one serving (2 tbsp) of you typical cream cheese packs 30mg of Cholesterol, 100mg of sodium and 10g of fat.

I was thinking about this many months ago. Can this be made at home without having to invest in the means to make my own "cheese" products?

This is so incredibly easy to make, and allows you to take control (somewhat) of what is in your cream cheese.


What you will need:

• One 16 oz carton of Sour Cream (see note)
• Cheesecloth or a cloth napkin or old but clean segment of sheet/pillowcase (do not use a "fluffy" material like a towel)

Note: check the ingredients of the sour cream. If it contains "gelatin" it will not work. Look for grade A cream and cultured milkfat. I prefer to use Daisy(tm) Light. The nutrition facts are decent and it's so good I could eat it right out of the carton (no, I don't do that, honest!).


Some very easy steps:

1. Open the carton
2. Pour contents into the cheesecloth or napkin
3. Grab the corners of the cloth and twist until you have a ball of sour cream at the end of your twisted cloth
4. Use a rubber band, twistie-tie or some string to tie cloth just above the ball of cream
5. Hang on your counter over a bowl (not in a refrigerator)
6. Let hang for 8-24 hours

When you place the sour cream in the cloth and wrapped it up, you will immediately notice a clear liquid starting to saturate the cloth or even drip out. This is whey, a very useful byproduct of this process. The bowl underneath the hanging cloth will capture this for use later, or to discard if you please.

While hanging, you can give the cloth a squeeze to prime the dripping process, however be careful. If solid white dots appear outside the cloth, you are forcing out the sour cream itself and not just whey.

After the appointed time has passed (see #6 above), take the cloth down, untie it and open it. You will have what looks like a head of garlic in your napkin; a clump of white soft cheese. Place this in a clean resealable container and mix (I use a wooden spoon handle). You can use it immediately, but I prefer to refridgerate it for a couple hours first. Also, if you plan on using the whey later, place it in a container and seal it as well. Both are good for approximately 10-14 days.

This is also a good opportunity to give the cheese a taste. If you used Daisy, what I can tell you is that it will be a little bland compared to Philly and will have a smooth aftertaste. Letting the cheese hang longer will affect the firmness and depth of flavor. I usually invest no less than 12 hours.

Spread on a bagel, toast or use as a dip.

Cream cheese after hanging for 12 hours

Variations:

• Add a tablespoon or two of yogurt to the mix before you hang the cheese to add nutrients and alter the taste (do not use yogurt that contains gelatin). 
• Mix in herbs or spices with the sour cream to change the resulting flavor (garlic, onion, cilantro and black pepper will yield a "ranchy" result)
• Mix in jam with the finished cream cheese before placing in the fridge
• Use your homemade cream cheese to make cheesecake, appetizers or frosting!
• Replace sour cream with yogurt to make yogurt cheese. Hanging for only a few hours will yield something akin to "greek-style" yogurt.

Reduced Sodium Bread

Just to clarify, by "reduced" I mean trace amounts (less than 5mg per serving)

I tried this a few weeks back and it was "okay". By that I mean the taste was good enough but the texture was a bit "cakey".

I'm making a small modification to the recipe I used before. Last night I had the urge to make a little bit of my homemade "cream cheese". One of the by-products of this is whey, a protein-rich liquid with countless uses. If you have ever opened a carton of sour cream (or yogurt) and used about half, the next day or so after you usually find a clear fluid pooling or "separating". This is whey.

Having about 2.5 oz of whey left over from my cheese-making, I've decided to use it as a supplement part of the water in the original recipe.

• 6 1/2 oz. hot water
• 2 1/2 oz. whey (right from the fridge)
• 3 cups King Arthur(tm) White (bleached & enriched, whole grain) flour
• 1 tb sugar
• 2 tb Hollywood(tm) Peanut Oil
• 1 1/2 tsp. active dry yeast

Since I use a bread machine to do my kneading, I put these ingredients into the machine in the order above (your requirements may vary) and set to "dough" cycle, a 90-minute ensemble of mixing, kneading and rising.

I'm hoping the whey will boost the flavor and alter the texture somewhat. As an added bonus there will be a little extra protein added as well. The whey was from a light sour cream that was not high in fat, sodium or cholesterol.

Right now the machine is doing it's thing. I'll add more once I start baking (with full details of course!).


90 minutes later...

Took the dough out of the machine, turned it on a lightly floured surface, rolled it up and placed it seam-down in one of my new loaf pans.

Placed in a 375F preheated oven to bake for about 20 min., testing with a bamboo skewer to see if it was done. Was a little doughy so I gave it 10 more minutes and it was done.

Cooled on a wire rack before testing it out.


20 minutes later...

Success! This is rather interesting. The whey has given the bread a more "cellular" structure and a nice wholesome taste.

Typically I use Pam or something similar to oil the top of the dough, or I split it to manage how it rises. Didn't work so well this time as the top of the bread "tore" open in the oven. Not very "elegant" looking, but it tastes very good!

I'll be making it like this from now on. 

Finished loaf. Will yield about 14-16 slices.

Welcome!

I've been contemplating doing this for quite some time. Since I was seven, I have been meddling with ingredients, odd projects and other such endeavors in the kitchen. Not having anything really in the way of formal education about how to cook, I have had the pleasure of acquiring what I know from my mother (who is an exceptional culinary artist), books/blogs/magazines and of course from my many mistakes.

Just a quick background. I love to cook and often the kitchen is my escape from work. It is where I go to learn, play and (hopefully) create. I'm in my thirties, husband to a lovely wife and two very active children. As the designated cook, I spend a lot of time whipping up concoctions to be consumed by my trusting family. I also have some personal challenges. I'm overweight and have some health concerns, primarily my blood pressure. Regular exercise helps, but those battles are also fought on the dinner plate.

Hence why I chose "Errant Chef" as my blog title. It is quite fitting given how unconventional I can be. If this project serves only to keep me informed of my past successes and future opportunities then it will already be more than I could hope for. If someone out there gains a little something from it as well, all the better.

So here we go!